SpongeBob wants to love you. Really!
It’s true! SpongeBob wants to be your pal. He’ll knit you a sweater of tears! Take you to Robot Pirate Island! Heck, he’ll rent out the whole restaurant just so you and he can have a night to be fancy together! And of course, he’ll fry you up a nice Krabby Patty.
SpongeBob loves his wise pet snail Gary, his dim friend Patrick Star and his crusty boss, Mr. Krabs. But most of all, he loves his job. He can hardly bear to leave his post as a fry cook, and his unfailing devotion to duty has always been my favorite thing about him. In a world where you and I pray for a snow day or perhaps a minor sprain to let us skip the Daily Grind and sleep in, SpongeBob greets each morning with a spring in his step and an eagerness to be at the office – or in his case, the kitchen at the Krusty Krab.
Now, we can all agree that SpongeBob, as voiced by Tom Kenny who perfected the squeezy little voice and high-pitched giggle, can be a little grating from time to time, but he’s nicely balanced by Bill Fagerbakke, priceless as the eternally clueless Patrick, Rodger Bumpass, who has acres of misanthropic flair as the weary cashier Squidward and the magnificent Clancy Brown, who has voiced a damned sexy Lex Luthor as well as lending his sonorous pipes and his killer comic timing to SpongeBob’s boss, the money lovin’, penny’ pinchin’, G droppin’ Mr. Krabs. Of course, even the sunniest day needs a little rain, and when SpongeBob, the world’s most Up With People Person needs a nemesis, they bring in the big guns: tiny, megalomaniacal Plankton, “1% Evil, 99% Hot Gas”. He’s voiced by Doug Lawrence with absolutely villainous glee – you can always hear him rubbing his hands together as he plans his next heist, even when he’s not actually rubbing his hands together.
But maybe you still find him annoying, or perhaps you’re a bit turned off by the sheer ocean of merchandising that has slapped his image on a bewildering array of objects, but give SpongeBob a chance! It may be true that you can buy a SpongeBob musical digital thermometer, or a terrifying SpongeBob pet costume,
Why would you do this? This dog will need YEARS of therapy.
SpongeBob was never about raking in the benjamins. SpongeBob is about love! And joy. And joyness.
Ten years of merchandising onslaughts and insidiously catchy yet heinously annoying theme songs aside, the show itself is comic genius. The jokes are fast and funny, and since it’s a cartoon, fantastically visual. The crackerjack writing is backed up with snap stills and ridiculously inventive action. I dare you to watch Rock-A-Bye BiValve and not walk away a fan.
Other favorite eps from the first three seasons include: Dying for Pie, Chocolate with Nuts, and Idiot Box. Just check out the following exchange from the episode Grandma’s Kisses:
Patrick: You’re a man now, SpongeBob, and it’s time you starting acting like one.
SpongeBob: Yeah! Oh, but I’m not sure I know how.
Patrick: Allow me to demonstrate. First, puff out your chest. (SpongeBob does so.) Now say “tax exemption”.
SpongeBob: Tax exemption.
Patrick: Now, you must acquire a taste for free-form jazz.
There’s a whole new 7th season and the 8th has already been greenlighted, so give SpongeBob another shot!
Also, sea bears and fairy tales are real!
You have a limited amount of time, so why spend it reading about things that suck or are only kind of okay? Favorite thing EVER is not a review site. We're unrepentant fans, and this is the stuff we love. Hope you like gushing, because we're about to embarrass ourselves.
I was born with paper skin and glass bones. Every morning I break my legs. And every afternoon I break my arms. At night I lay awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.
Somehow this is the funniest story ever told. That’s the magic of imaginaaaaaaaaaaation.
It’s the voice acting. The guy tells his sorry tale with just the right balance of toneless resignation and pathos…
Hm. I want to accept your dare — especially since it has such a great title — but it won’t play in Canada.
What do the cartoon folks have against Canada?
I guess they have something against maplesucking snowbacks!
Also, that website isn’t the most extremely legal apparently. (g)