The eighties can suck it!
So I dated a guy named Jason, and he broke up with me, out of nowhere, and a guy had never broken up with me before and I was pissed, but not hurt. (I ran into him at ComiCon last year, too. AWKWARD.) Then I dated another guy, also named Jason, right after Jason I and he too broke up with me, and I’d been expecting it, but I was hurt, and whatever, it’s a boring story and there’s no reason to tell it aside from the fact that he was a decent guy with good taste in music, and he left me with something that was worth all the heartache — hell, it was worth all that heartache and a pony keg of molten gold: Jason II: Electric Boogaloo introduced me to Yacht Rock.
Ah, Yacht Rock. The brainchild of J.D. Ryznar and his crew, Yacht Rock has brought me more joy than any other web serial I’ve come across — more than Charlie the Unicorn (It’s made of joy. And joyness.), more than Creased Comics (He once held an opponent’s wife’s hand in a jar of acid. At a party.), more even than Planet Unicorn (You do not have a fresh face!).
Yacht Rock is a mockumentary along the lines of Behind the Music, dedicated to the smooth sounds of the 70s, featuring J.D. Ryznar, the writer and director, in the starring role as “Michael McDonald”. Mike, Kenny Loggins, Hall and Oates and other heavy hitters of the era show up to trade slams and lip synch to hits like “What A Fool Believes” and “I’m All Right”. The show is sweet tempered and ridiculous, with hilarious dialogue and a plethora of the worst wigs I’ve ever seen. Mike is in every episode, but it’s Oates who stole my heart with his cutoffs, giant headband fro and faketastic pornstache. Other memorable cameos include Steve Perry, James Ingram and Van Halen, and since brevity is the soul of wit, every action packed episode is a mere five minutes long.
“Hall and I will not stand idly by while you California vagina sailors stab the American airwaves in the balls with your shit music.” – Oates
I have added several choice Yacht Rock phrases to my personal idiolect, particularly “Outta the Doobies!” and “I swear and I’m not even joking!”
The series went on a long hiatus after Episode 10, “F.M.”, which depicted Steely Dan getting their lunch money stolen by The Eagles (my second favorite ep, after the pilot, “What a Fool Believes”) and recently came to its finale, featuring the sad end of sunny rock historian Hollywood Steve.
If you have five minutes to dick around on the internet, I urge you to spend that five minutes dicking around at Yacht Rock.
As a bonus, J.D. Ryznar also directed this video by the Miniature Tigers, a band I’d never heard of before he linked to them in his blog:
The Miniature Tigers, ladies and gentlemen. They write strangely charming songs about stalking, murder and cannibalism! Hooray!
You have a limited amount of time, so why spend it reading about things that suck or are only kind of okay? Favorite thing EVER is not a review site. We're unrepentant fans, and this is the stuff we love. Hope you like gushing, because we're about to embarrass ourselves.
“Your music scene is for PUSSIES… Koko.”
Also, I love that George Washington cartoon that you linked to so much, I could totally do a Favorite Thing Ever on it alone.
Well, women dug his snuff and his gallant stroll. Also he crossed the shit out of the Delaware.
““F.M.”, which depicted Steely Dan getting their lunch money stolen by The Eagles” – I’m sold. Will check it out as soon as the bosses leave the office!
Melinda, it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. (g)
I remember that you introduced me to Yacht Rock when you came to help me move into Maniac Mansion.
I was sleepless and insane, and yet my psychotic rage was tamed by the wonder and majesty of smyooth myoosic.
Fuck you, Loggins! Your shitty music’s making me barf!
You’re a handsome feller!
Ok, I am frightened of this web serial. Please tell me that if I watch it I won’t have Kenny Loggins and Hall and Oates ear worms for the rest of my short life.
I would lie and tell you no, but That’s what a fool believes, Kenny! That’s what a FOOL believes!
That’s what I was afraid of.
The Miniature Tigers, though! Those guys I could happily have playing in my head. Good find!
I think I like Tell It To The Volcano at least as much as Cannibal Queen.
Oh man, so awesome. I watched every single one of these last night, then set up a Yacht Rock station on Pandora. So Smooooooth!
Yacht Rock is just hilariously great, musically and otherwise.