13 Decemberween Traditions

photo (2)In no particular order, 13 holiday traditions here at Favorite Thing Ever:

13) Stuff Layin’ Around Christmas.

As you may have surmised, Matt and I have a lot of enthusiasms. For a lot of things. As such, in the course of a year, we buy each other a fair number of presents. Books, video games, build-your-own-dinosaur lamps, that kind of stuff. So we took all the video games we hadn’t played and the books we hadn’t yet read and wrapped them up! As you see, it was quite a haul. Two years ago, we lost our Box O’ Crimbo (named for Kingdom of Loathing‘s annual holiday event, but also apparently UK slang for Xmas). We think we may have given the box to Goodwill? So we used Stuff Layin’ Around: key chains gotten over the years from traveling boss-types at work as souvenirs, little fannish knicknacks, and fingerpuppets.

12) Holiday Crowns/DIY Christmas Tree Advent Calendar. I haven’t actually made this, but it seems easy enough that even the craft-impaired can give it a try!

11) Crimbo shares the season with Hanukkimbo! Help Uncle Crimbo battle mutant elves or giant robots or evil what-have-yous to save the holiday season!

10) Meet Me in St. Louis. This has Judy Garland singing Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, and the most beautiful red dress ever made. It also has my favorite Halloween scene: “I’m the MOST HORRIBLE!”

9) Elf. It should boost your Christmas cheer even if your Clause-O-Meter is shockingly low.

8) Lost Girl. Ideal for Christmas marathons and enhanced with tiny bottles of booze.

7) Yuletide. It’s not too late to sign up for pinch hits! All you need is a passing familiarity with the requested fandom and 1000 words! (That’s just two typed pages!)

6) The Year Kenny Loggins Ruined Christmas:

“More Band-Aids. PUT THEM ON MY FACE.”

5) Pinochle:

“Pinochle,” I said, rolling my eyes. She stared blankly. “You know, the elf that shows up on Thanksgiving after you eat, and he flies around the windows…?”

4) The Dinosaur Nativity featuring The Three Science Bros (pictured)

3) Xmas stockings stuffed with Tiny Bottles O’ Booze and Lottery Tickets (Scratchers are best! Get glass bottles, they are classier!)

2) Buying the tiny table top tree the day after Thanksgiving.

1) The No Blood Relations Holiday Rule:

Established (by me, and applying only to my OWN blood relations) in 2002, in concert with the magnificence of NaNoWriMo, I begged off from Thanksgiving for the very the first time, saying that I needed the four day weekend to finish my novel. Magically, I got to dodge every awkward family conversation, every panic about the food and its presentation, every boozy argument. And I didn’t have to hand wash an army’s worth of fine china. It was GLORIOUS.

Christmas was even better: Chinese food, a flick at the dollar theater, and then relaxing on the couch playing video games with my best friend. There was no anxiety about gift exchanges, no wrapping bottles of shampoo so it would look like there were more presents under the tree, no fretting about how “little” we had, or spending money we didn’t have to make the holiday appropriately lavish according to standards we couldn’t actually meet. Many, maybe even most, of you have lovely families that you look forward to seeing at the holidays. But a chunk of you probably dread visiting, for all the reasons I list above, or other reasons of your own. I was invited to a family Christmas at the home of a friend. She drank Fireball from the bottle IN THE CAR on the way there in order to brace herself for the ordeal. To people who love their families but can’t handle a holiday with them, I urge you to let your wish for self-preservation outweigh any thoughts of guilt. Your family will get through the holiday without you, I promise, and you will enjoy a quiet day relaxing at home or in the company of a friend or two and missing all the keyed up drama. Visit them two weeks or so later, when the fever pitch of holiday mania has passed, and I bet you’ll find it much easier on everyone, especially you.

Have a fun December, kids. See you in 2013!

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kormantic has currently lost over 16 millionteen games of Words With Friends in a row. She lives with Matt in their secret lair in the heart of a volcano. She likes CANDY and words that rhyme.

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2 Responses to “13 Decemberween Traditions”

  1. matt says:

    Stockings stuffed with booze and lottery tickets, I will freely admit, is the holiday tradition that I brought to the party. So look forward to some embarrassing, drunken live tweeting from me on the 25th!

    Also, I’m very sad that Lost Girl hasn’t started its season yet, depriving us of out yearly Xmas day marathon. Boo, Canadian cable networks!

    • kormantic says:

      There’s no reason we can’t re-watch the seasons in all their corsetted, werewolfy strangely wholesome sexpot glory!

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