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Chrystal: Sucks to be her

Twenty years after the car accident that severely injured his wife and killed their young son, Joe (Billy Bob Thornton) returns home. He spent those twenty years in prison because he was drunk and running from the law when he wrecked the car. He was also growing some dank weed, and that’s why the cops were after him in the first place. Ray McKinnon wrote,... read more

Taxi Driver: Jodie Foster has a big hat

Taxi Driver was released in 1976. I saw it for the first time in about 1996. My second viewing was last Friday night. The film was on a cable channel, with all the swears and no commercials. I know I’m not telling anyone about a movie they’ve never heard of. Taxi Driver launched the careers of legends and is referenced in countless films and TV shows.... read more

I AM ROCK AND ROLL!

Chazz (Brendan Fraser), Rex (Steve Buscemi) and Pip (Adam Sandler) make up the LA rock band The Lone Rangers. These guys are desperate to make it big, and they know their only ticket to... read more

Six penguins and (a clothed) Carla Gugino

The closest movie theater to our house hosts a free kid’s movie every weekend during the fall. This selection a few months ago was Mr. Popper’s Penguins. I only went because my son was a bit stir-crazy and it was free entertainment. Once again, low expectations made the movie enjoyable. I’ve decided it’s best to be prepared for cinematic crap... read more

Don’t bother pumping the brakes

After an exhaustive fifteen-minute search on the internet, I can find no evidence that the movie I’m about to tell you about actually exists.  This will have to be a favorite memory ever, since that’s what I’m working with.  I hereby promise that the following movie actually was made and aired on a public television channel in Arkansas. I was around... read more

Ass-kicking after homeroom

I don’t read comic books.  Please don’t hate me.  I read lots of things, but not comic books.   (Yes, Matt, I’m dead to you.) The best thing about this is that I watched Kick-Ass with no expectations.  I thought it was going to be a light, high-schoolesque movie with no lasting impression.  I’m happy to admit that I was wrong. If you’ve seen... read more

Hot mess seeks white pony

Dirty Love was written by Jenny McCarthy and directed by John Asher, her then-husband.  The overall reviews for this movie stink.  You’ll have to believe me when I tell you that it’s freaking hilarious.  I’m talking laugh until chardonnay squirts from your nose even though you haven’t had chardonnay since last night funny.  Sure, it’s very... read more

I, too, love Phillip Morris

I didn’t know it was possible to have more love for Ewan McGregor.  He’s a talented, grungy yet pretty bloke with an accent that makes a girl want to shed her clothing.  But when I saw him as fem convict Phillip Morris, I became endeared to him even more.  I wanted to put McGregor’s Phillip Morris in my pocket and take care of him.  That must be... read more
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